A Goal is Born

To successfully create a goal, as I said before, you need to make it a living, breathing thing. Just thinking it isn’t enough. I want to really dive into the goal stage, step by step, from inception to completion.

I have an idea, I want to do X. The goal is born, if I want this goal to become real and viable, I have to make it a living, breathing thing. I always write or type my goals out. I want to have it in a concrete touchable form. The goal has to be defined out, describe it, make it so you can see it. When I quit smoking, I wrote out the goal similar to this

“I’m going to quit smoking by January 1, 2005. I’m going to begin my limiting the locations where I can smoke. I’m going to place restrictions on the times I smoke. I’m going to limit myself to how many a day I can have, and reduce that daily until I am down to zero a day. I realize the reason I smoke is to calm myself during stressful situations. I’m going to discover new and better ways to deal with stress. I will succeed. I will feel better, have better breathing, smell better, and I will be saving over $2000.00 a year.”

Step 1 define the goal. I’m going to quit smoking by January 1, 2005 Write out exactly what the accomplishment will be. Make sure your statement doesn’t contain any negatives. I could’ve said I’m not going to smoke anymore, but NOT is a negative and the last thing I want in my mind at this point is a negative. Establish when it will be accomplished. Setting a due date makes the goal breathe. You now have a sense of timing and urgency involved. Detail How will you accomplish the goal. I’m going to begin my limiting the locations where I can smoke. I’m going to place restrictions on the times I smoke. I’m going to limit myself to how many a day I can have, and reduce that daily until I am down to zero a day. This is the marching orders of the goal, the planning stage. Again no negatives. Clear and to the point. These are the steps you will take to reach your goal. As you’ll see later ,these will become even more defined as you go along. You’ll make it nearly impossible to fail! Here’s the cause, the why, and your first what. I realize the reason I smoke is to calm myself during stressful situations. I’m going to discover new and better ways to deal with stress. This is one of the hardest parts of the goal, because you have to look at you, and determine why you have or do X and why you want to change it. You can say I want to lose weight. Ok great. WHY do you have extra weight you want to lose. Is it because poor eating habits? Maybe you need to learn more about nutrition? Do you stress eat?, maybe you need to find better ways of dealing with stress. You eat when you are bored. You need to find something else to occupy your mind and body. What ever the issue that is holding you back, find it, own it, and change it! I will succeed. I will feel better, have better breathing, smell better, and I will be saving over $2000.00 a year. What will your goal yield for you? Whats the benefits you will receive? if there is no pleasureful event, or stimuli at the completion, why would you do it? simple answer you won’t. Thats step one, you’ve defined your goal. it’s alive, breathing. Now, lets keep it alive.

Step 2, What if’s ? The goal you spelled out above is still an infant. It needs help, food, TLC and guidance. The most important part of your goal is being able observe, improvise and adapt. Take this part for instance. ” I’m going to begin my limiting the locations where I can smoke. I’m going to place restrictions on the times I smoke. I’m going to limit myself to how many a day I can have, and reduce that daily until I am down to zero a day” What I did was limit where I could smoke. I didn’t smoke in the house, the family car, or in my office . Before too long, I was at someones house who did smoke in his house. I didn’t want to fall back on my progress, so I amended the limit, by saying I wont smoke in any house. The same went on for smoking in cars. Then I added not smoking in front of or around my wife and family. By adapting the goal as you progress, you ensure your success. Keep the goal flexible, watch for traps and always be ready to strengthen it. Using this principle , the limitations got more strenuous as I got stronger. Soon, I had cut down to two or three cigarettes a day. Then the goal became, I’m not going to smoke at all. If I can cut down to two a day, then I can cut down to none. I did and it worked. Remember in order to stop a bad habit there must be punitive measures applied. Basically the bad habit must have discomfort or pain attached. While doing a good habit should be pleasurable. If you continue to practice the bad habit, with no consequences or inconveniences , why would you ever stop?

Making a change without knowing why is a recipe for failure. In my goal above I wrote “I realize the reason I smoke is to calm myself during stressful situations. I’m going to discover new and better ways to deal with stress. ” If I didn’t address the excuse for smoking, the next time it came along, I give myself permission to relapse. First thing even before I cut down on smoking I started changing the way I dealt with stress. I identified the situations that caused me the greatest stress, and researched ways to handle them better. I learned new strategies and techniques and then put them into practice. One of the things I came across was vigorous exercise helped reduce stress. I started working out and joined a gym. When I had a rough day I worked out.

Make it worth your while, explain what the benefits are for the completion on the goal. Near the end of the goal I wrote, “I will succeed. I will feel better, have better breathing, smell better, and I will be saving over $2000.00 a year.” The first half of this statement is key, I WILL. When a batter walks into the batters box, they think only of hitting the pitch. If you allow failure into your thoughts, you’ve already struck out. The next statement “I will feel better, have better breathing, smell better and I will be saving… ” This is what stopping smoking WILL do for me. better health, and saving money. I couldn’t wait for those to kick in. On the days, when I was struggling it was the promised feeling better that keep me going. “when this is over, I’m going to feel so much better.” When you spell out the benefits you’ll receive by completing the task. If your goal is going to let you buy new clothes, put that in there . If your goal is going to help relieve anxiety, put that in there… It will serve as motivation for you to continue. Motivation is the gas in the tank. Use everything you can to keep the journey going forward.

All of this is a total waste unless you actually execute the goal to the fullest. The day I scribbled the goal down. I started following through. That day I stopped smoking in the car. I stopped smoking in front of my wife and kids. I limited myself to smoking only after a certain time, and stopped smoking after a certain time. The minute you make the goal concrete, start making the changes required to complete the goal. Don’t put it off, don’t say I’ll stop X, tomorrow. If you want the goal, start it immediately.

Lastly, make the goal(s) your priority. Your life is filled with a list of priorities. Every day you juggle them putting the goals\tasks\events in order of importance. If you want to be successful, you must make the true goals, a high priority in your life. Rank them by most important, are they in progress?, benefits to you? Pick the one goal, that you desire and make it your priority, That means it comes before everything else. It has to be the priority. Set the tasks associated with it, as appointments and refuse not to follow through. If I miss a workout, I make it up. If your goal is a college degree, you must put all your effort into obtaining it. Everything associated with the goal has to come before everything else. If you’re invited to a event, make sure that you have nothing with your college goal that should be done, could be done before you attend the event. Make it a priority and keep it on the top of list. On a regular basis re-examine your goal(s) are you on track? Are you actively working on this goal? What’s keeping you from completing it. What do you need to do to keep it progressing.

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