During my discovery I worked in several different fields. I found negativity everywhere. But I found that if I looked the positive people were there, as well. I just had to chose to see them. I had been struggling with getting myself into the shape I really wanted. I hadn’t found that Charles Atlas body yet. I started feeling that those who told me that I wouldn’t ever be able to achieve success were wrong. I actually got some confidence, started believing in myself, believing I could do anything. I started reading again.
As I grew up, I was met with constant self doubt. I heard a million times a day, you cant do that, you’re not smart enough, you couldn’t handle doing that, you’re not strong enough. If you hear that often enough, every day like I did you begin to believe it. I went a long time believing it. Because I did , I was proving everyone right. I didn’t have a great job. I wasn’t happy with what I was doing, all my own goals were pushed aside. When something good did come along, I sabotaged it. I’d either get frustrated, bored or get the feeling the job was making me more stupider by the second and I would quit. I saw the same negative attitude I had seen at home. I started seeing a new crop of people. Those with positive attitudes. Seeing positive people in action, changed everything for me. I started asking questions, about how they could be that positive. I got a million different answers that were as varied as the stars. There was one common thread. They believed it.
My first marriage blew up around this time, I moved back home, in the with the same negativity as I grew up, my confidence killed. I decided to join the military, Everyone gets something different from military service. What I got was confidence, courage, and self belief. Here I had people in my face telling me I can. There is no can’t. I believed. I deployed to Germany, and began reading books on every subject that interested me. I had more books than anything else in my barrack quarters. I would read the SM manuals on anything related to my duties. When I left the military I lost part of that support system, but gained a new one. My in laws were very positive people, including my wife. I kept reading even it were newspapers.
During one of my attempts to quit smoking, another thing I got from the military, I came across a late night infomercial about a book and system that the author promised life changing results. I took note of the title of the book and made it a point to locate and read it. I found it and read it through. Twice. This was earth shattering. The book was Awaken The Giant Within by Tony Robbins.
This book is the basis for my belief systems. I’m going to start to share my beliefs with you. I suggest that you buy the book, hopefully you’ll be inspired by it as I was. I’ve given several copies away, I find myself going back to it often. If nothing else you will see how positives remain positives. trust me it works.
Now there’s the basics. So for me one of my first goals was quitting smoking. Step one was limit where and when I could smoke. I started with outdoors, away from the house. Not near my wife or kids. Not in my car. Then not in public at work. I tried other times before this to quit, but I used the patch and it was easy. I didn’t surrender anything, there was no discomfort involved to nothing to really give me a reason not to. This time when I broke my rules, I had to throw one cigarette away, and give up another one as well. Next step was to tell my self constantly how I hated HATED the habit. I hate the smell, the taste, the cough every morning it caused. My mind started believing that I did hate it, and I found myself unable to finish a full smoke. Finally I felt I was ready to stop. I took my last pack and tossed it out. I wasn’t buying anymore. I went through withdrawals and God Bless my family they dealt with it. One night as I was sweating bullets and couldn’t sleep I got up to pace to fight off the urge to get a pack and smoke one, My dog Riley and I were pacing in front of the fireplace downstairs trying to be quit, My wife came looking for me. I was covered in sweat, shaking and walking a five foot path in the carpet. When she asked what I was doing, I replied that in addition to cigarettes, I had also decided to give up Crack Cocaine. We, the dog and I paced for another half hour and then went to bed. My wife rubbed my back until I fell asleep. I knew that I was going to make it no matter what. I had the support of my wife and family. There was no way I was going to not finish it this time. The final straw was a shirt that was tucked away, that I had smoked in before I quit. As any non smoker can tell you. Smoke residue on clothes, STINKS worse than anything else. That was the nail in the coffin so to speak. The dirt on the coffin was when my wife said that’s how you smelled when you came to bed after smoking. Then I didn’t do any of the activities that I did when I smoked. Lifestyle change. done and done.
Find the goal, make the goal a need, not a want. Believe in the goal as if your life depends on it. Refuse not to win. yeah i know sounds too easy. stick around
So let me run though a goal with you, from start to finish. lets say you want to cut the grass. What do we need. A way to cut the grass, we could use scissors, we could use hedge clippers, but the most effective method would be a lawn mower, do we have one yes? on to the next goal, no? a new goal would be to get one. So we break it down, cost, time\action required, sacrifice involved, and most effective method to get there. you research and find a lawn mower on sale at bob’s tractor store. It’s within your affordable price range. step 1, you found it. Step 2 you take the time to go get it. You bring it home, does it require assembly Yes? new goal, No? goal finished…
By now you’ll see that setting and finishing a goal is a step of details and goals within the goals. Any goal would be the same method. Here’s a real life example. My friend P, wanted to be a drummer. He lived it, researched it, he knew all the great drummers, he learned their techniques, style, their influences, who they learned from. He sought out a source , his dad happened to play percussion in his youth. He taught his son, the basics, rudiments, tempo, beats, measures. P couldve stopped there, but he didn’t. He continued to research drummers, from all kinds of music. He took something from everything he heard. All of this was BEFORE he got a drum kit. He used practice pads in his room, to practice the skills he currently had, and to explore the skills he wanted. It wasn’t just something P wanted to do in the moment, he wanted a lifestyle change. Today P is still a percussionist and still plays. That’s how you set and achieve a goal.
Commando Fitness. health for the masses 